moriath

Hollywood's Five Saddest Attempts at Feminism

For the link-phobic, here's the list:
5) Eowyn (Lord of the Rings)
4) Padme Amidala (Star Wars prequels)
3) River Tam (Serenity)
2) Catwoman (Batman Returns)
1) Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean)

I can totally get behind three-fifths of this list. There's one-fifth where I haven't seen the movie. And then there's a final fifth that has me struggling.

'Cause...Elizabeth? Really? The saddest attempt Hollywood has made at giving us a feminist hero?

As much as I looooooooooooooove the Pirate movies (seriously, I don't think there are enough "o"s on earth for me to convey that), I know they certainly aren't a paragon of feminism. But in Elizabeth Swann the screenwriters certainly crafted a complex character throughout the three films. She certainly goes through more growth during the films than either Will or Jack. She does suffer from tokenism and clearly the film doesn't pass the Bechdel test (did Elizabeth and Anamaria ever really speak in the first one? Aside from Anamaria holding a blade to Elizabeth's throat. Then in Dead Man's Chest Tia Dalma gives Elizabeth a mug of something to help with the sadness (over Jack's death) and in At World's End...I recall Elizabeth and Tia Dalma standing on the ship alone for a minute. Did they talk?). But this is certainly not the saddest attempt at feminism in Hollywood.

My brief thoughts on the others on the list:
Eowyn: Definitely see this one, though I think a lot of the problems stem from the source material. Not an excuse, but that's why they did it. Padme Amidala: I only saw Revenge of the Sith (James Earl Jones was back as the voice of Darth Vader! I had to watch! And then feel betrayed afterwards) and WOW was that a piece of crap overall, and Amidala's death especially. Crap, crap, crap. River Tam: IMHO, she deserved to be number one on this list. ~ducks to avoid the wrath of the Joss-fen~ Catwoman: ~hangs head~ I haven't seen Batman Returns. I really should sometime

But will probably suck:

Bitch Slap

It's supposed to be a "thinking man's throwback to B/Exploitation films of the 1950s-70s."

And that's where they lose me.

Why, oh why, can't it be a thinking person's throwback? Okay, I know, tiny little nitpick to some people. Maybe this will end up being me blowing things out of proportion. But right now it seems they're setting it up as strictly a guy's movie. No way could a woman enjoy a throwback to (s)exploitation films. Especially since, to me, the "thinking" modifier, as well as the addition later on in the promo text that it's supposed to be a sly trailer, makes me think that it's going to be an ironic film. OMG, movies that make a point! While still being wildly entertaining. Women can have fun wielding big guns in tiny skirts and push up bras - not because there will be men drooling over them, but because, dammit, big guns are fun.

And here's where I admit that I am, most definitely, a little bit sexist: as soon as I saw it was being directed by a guy, my hopes for the film being enjoyable to me sunk a little bit more. Would a woman have been guaranteed to make a feminist-ish film? Of course not.

But it would be a little more likely.

I've been in a funk all day. I think it's because today Hilary Clinton gave her concession speech. And it bums me the hell out. I haven't read the transcript/watched the speech 'cause I'm pretty sure I'd be a blithering mess of tears. Even reading some of the articles about it gets me choked up.

Obama won the nomination; I'll certainly vote for him in November. But that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed that my candidate didn't make it.

Bush lectures Arab world on political reform, women's rights

Because George W. Bush is really the world's foremost expert on political reform and women's rights.

Okay, you would think that in the most heteronormative of online institutions, the wedding community, you would find lots posts on how lovely men are and, gee, aren't we just so lucky they put up with our crazy tendencies when we're planning these little shindigs. I get those, I put up with them, and then move on to the crafty DIY entries (ooooooooooh, make your own pocketfolds!)

But then you also get threads like this where every other post mentions how dumb men are and how they need shit spelled out for them.

And y'know what? In this case, it does sound like the bride-to-be is dealing with a couple of knuckleheads who don't quite get that being hung over on the wedding day might not be tons o' fun. But y'know what else? They aren't knuckleheads because they're men. There are lots of female knuckleheads out there as well (for example, and this is just my opinion since I know there are lots of people who will agree with this woman, the woman who seems to think "I guess that's just one of the perks of marriage" is an actual response to my question of why strippers are disrespectful to the bride AFTER the wedding but not BEFORE).

STUPIDITY IS NOT THE PROPERTY OF ONE GENDER. Please get this through your heads, people. Because if you honestly thought all men were stupid, why the hell would you marry one?

Are these just instances of hyperbole? Frustration? Okay, I get it. But I don't accept hyperbole and frustration as an excuse for misogynist comments, no matter how benign they may seem.

Okay. Thank you for letting me get that out. And now I'll conclude this by saying once again that eventually I will get to a real life post. No later than two weeks from now when I saw GOOD BYE FOREVER to Borders!

When women talk about how their fiance "asked for her hand" (or worse, asked her father for her hand) in marriage, it weirds me out. It feels like the oldest form of dismembering women so they are only as good as the individual parts they can offer.

I clearly have issues with weddings vs feminism.

Though here's an interesting realization: this is the only time in my life where, as the woman, I am encouraged and expected to singlehandedly make decisions that involve large sums of money. Every vendor we've met so far directs at least 80% of the conversation at me (Billy has been completely left out once). It's the tiny sliver of empowerment I've pulled from this whole experience.